Amnesty?

First off, i want to say that this whole time changing situation is messing me up lmao (FOREAL)..waking up to DARKNESS? No sir! 'Cause I will GO BACK to sleep..you feel me? Anyways today was kind of a bit staggering to be honest. As I parked the car in the school parking lot, I was looking over my stuff before I walked in to know exactly what to give to my counselor before he sent all of my college stuff in and I totally forgot I had to call the lawyer first thing in the morning! So I called him..(as always, HE DIDN'T PICK UP)..so I left him a message addressing it was an ABSOLUTE emergency, but ay ..still haven't heard from him.

After school I came home to my mom telling me that she seen Mirvy at Stop&Shop. Let me take you back 2 years ago. Me and Mirvy use to be BEST friends, hung out together, went out to lunch together, etc. I'm telling you we did EVERYTHING together, she was almost like my sister. At the time i was dating this guy named Ace. We dated for about 6 months, i later found out that he lived NEXT DOOR to her, literally. After him and I broke up..she asked me if it was alright to talk to him. (Remind you this is TWO days AFTER me and him broke up, she has the nerve to EVEN ask me this.) I don't even know how she would ask me something like that, after I'm the one whose just been hurt. She should have been on MY side. After I found out that she liked him and she was just only WAITING for us to break up to snacth him up I totally cut her off. I didn't feel the need to cuss her out or anything like that I just let her be. For you to be my best friend and even ASK ME something like that, there was no response for me to give. After a good while after the summer, Junior year later started and we didn't even look in each others way. Towards the middle of the year we fought, and I can honestly say that that's one of the things I'll probably NEVER forget in my life, she completely humiliated me. (I know this is the WORLD WIDE WEB, but I'm not going to lie on here and say, "yes, i beat her up") No, she beat me up and I can honestly admit it. I was so blind that I couldn't even tell the jealousy she had for me. All the so called "friends" she started to hang out with told her what to do. I ended up going to the hospital for head injuries (yes, i had a concussion) and she had to pay the doctor bills. (Big mess). I honestly COULD NOT forgive her after that. She soon had to pay $2,000 and got expelled from school. It was the last I heard of her. My mother seen her at Stop&Shop today working, and she had the audacity to say "Hi" to my mother...like what?! She apologized to my mother for all the embarrassment she made me go through and that she said she made the wrong choice in friends. That coming from her meant alot. I think I honestly say I forgive her after that. I realized for me to forgive doesn't take much. Shes now going to school 2-5 pm at this alternative school and she works at Stop&Shop to pay her parents back all the money. My heart kind of went out to her.

P.s. - Me and my brother talk again & he's coming for my birthday on friday :). till then bloggers, xoxo.

A bit much?

One word: LABORIOUS. what? OMG. I went to take the SATs Saturday morning, for 5 HOURS. pssh. NEVER AGAIN. lmao (foreal). I was soooo high-strung. This test can make me or BREAK me. Enough about that though. I got home late around 9ish cause i went out afterwards to chill & whatnot, and I get some letter in the mail saying "i have four credits when i need FIVE." WTF? ughhhhhhh, like the day couldn't get any worse? Like i didn't have enough on my mind already? Cool beans (stole that from Ray, btw). I literally shut down. Closed my phone and went in my room. Too much for one day. So NOW.. i have to GO to my lawyers office on Monday or WHENEVER he decides to pick up his phone and get a note...before the 7Th or i can't graduate. GRAND. Exactly what i needed after a day like that. I'm in a bit of a clasp. OH WELL. I'm moving past it sorta.

On to Sunday? I didn't go to church. Got a call from my hubby (Hey Ray), saying "What do I see when I look in the mirror?".. i was like what?! He told me to make a vision. Where do I see myself in 5 years? Hm. I see my self graduating from NHS in 2009. Graduating from BC in 2013 and marrying Ray, and going to AI: in ATL. In 2016 I'll have my first child. With my Degree in Journalism (hopefully) I'll write for some TOP newspaper or with my degree in Interior Design I'll be a wedding planner, better yet I can do both...hm maybe looking at a BIG house but we'll get to all that later..

Looking forward to the end of this week, somewhat. My birthday is on Friday and yeah, not sure yet of whats going down. For now I'm off this, xoxo.

Another Friday Night in the house. Awesome.

Yippee, another Friday night with my mom in the crib? Priceless. The day started off with a text from my love, waking me up. (If it wasn't for him i think i would have been LATE, for real). Did the regular..Shower, Make up, etc. you know. School was alright. One of my teachers signed me up for this Poetry Slam on the 14th. (Doubt I'm going) It'll be great i guess but...NO THANKS. I am not standing in front of about..100 people listening to what i wrote?! NO SIR. Lunch was garbage today, I soo wanted Chinese food but they wouldn't deliver (I was tight!) So I debated if I should go and have "Cafeteria" lunch...naaaahhh. Couldn't do it! (Foreal!) lmao. But let's not go there.

This boy had the BOLDNESS to text me some bulls$%^ today. OMG. I'm in study hall minding my OWN and i get a text saying, "You said I was a bum ass nigga?! I should have my nigga smack you"...Like you should have seen my face. (Was he drunk?) No Ma'am he DEF wasn't talking to me like that. I had to mediate that real quick and let him know who he was impending with (FOREAL).

After school I got a text from my sister. (It's been a while since we chilled.) I caught her up to somethings, like me applying to certain schools, My writing in the paper, and some other things..you know. Didn't tell her about my 3.0 though. THAT I feel I want to keep to myself for a while. It just feels too good to let just ANYBODY know (if you know what I mean). We hung out for a little while and stuff, and she left for this party. Which I'm ooh soo UPSET that she went out and I'm stuck here in the house with MOM running her mouth. GOODNESS. (Sorry had a moment there.)

But yeah, I have SATs tomorrow. Gosh, I'm nervous. I studied...(SOMEWHAT) but you know I'm not stressing too much. I think that's all for now..I should be doing my hair as we speak but I really don't know why I'm NOT.. hm, check back tomorrow loves. xoxo

Honor Roll baby.

Soooo yes, I've finally got my 3.0! FIRST time on the honor roll OMG! i haven't really told anybody except for the husband (Hey Justin boo) only because I know he's the only one who would take it seriously & be proud. But besides that, my day? has been...alright you can say. I woke up LATE! OMG. Let me tell you! So me & the husband got off the phone kind of early last night (I passed out) so I went to sleep as usual. The alarm wakes me up at 6:00 a.m. I hit the snooze button without thinking..& the next thing i know it's 7:13! I ALMOST broke my neck going down the stairs. But I must admit that sleep was GOOD. One of those random Thursdays, you know..

I told my best friend about Blogger.com today, because I showed her my page so she's going to be a new member ;o) ! As for right now? I'm just chilling as usual watching television (I really don't know WHAT I'm watching but it's on.) Currently missing the hubby as we speak...he's at church at the moment. OMG I love him sooo much, like real talk..he's the one of the best things that I can say has ever happened in my life. He's so different from the rest. I just want to be there for him a little more but I know there isn't much I can physically do if I'm all the way up here. (Yes, he's out of state...for the time being). The whole thing with his father and all, I just feel like there is alot more I can do for him? I don't know but you get what I'm trying to say (hopefully).

Speaking of Father's my mother and I were having some type of conversation in the car today and she asked me do I forgive easily and I kept it real and said, "No". I can't say that I hold grudges but I can't find it in my heart to tell someone I forgive them after they've hurt me. Especially my father at that. I can honestly say no man has ever hurt me they way he has. I was an option to my father and he wasn't there when I needed him the most. So for me to tell him that I've forgiven him would be, out of the question. I just feel that I can't say something I don't mean from my heart out my mouth. Feel me? I don't know if that made quite sense but yes, those are my current feelings.

Looking forward for Friday, honestly it doesn't feel like a Friday tomorrow. ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL MY 18TH BIRTHDAY & 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY. Yes, I'm soo excited but patient so I can wait.

Currently listening to Heaven Sent By Keyshia Cole. ;o)

On a more personal level...let's get to know me a little bit better

I tend to be more open writing then speaking, so I think this blog will be a really great notional. I tend to keep alot of things inside and some people tend to misunderstand my being. I come from a family where i didn't have many people that seemed to care around me, so i tend to bottle everything up. Now that I'm turning 18 in a few days I've realized that little baby games aren't cute anymore. This doesn't mean that I'll be an open book to anyone who says "Hi" to me down the street but i am aware that not EVERYONE can read my mind. I never really realized how much I've grown in a matter of MONTHS. How much maturity I've profited. Each and everyday i recognize the little changes in my life, from how I spoke to my friends and elders to the stupidest things i use to do with my time. I now realize that the past 3 years in high school i took as a complete JOKE and if were to go back in time i WOULDN'T. Yesterday has made me a BETTER person TODAY. I feel that I'm turning the page in life and that I've finally found my incentive.

A rained out Tuesday

Today was definitely one of those days nobody wanted to get up out of bed. I woke up earlyyy around 5:19 a.m. thinking DAMN, you have 41 minutes till the alarm goes off AND it's raining?! Rain in the morning = GREAT sleep. So I was thinking what kind of excuse i can pull while i dug my face in my pillows. The warmth of my bed was just sooooo good and just the fact that i had to get up and spend 7 hours in a building with about 17,000 other teenagers, damn. I eventually got to school and it was an okay day. Texted hubby a little bit (Hey Raymond) and then just flowed with the rest of the day. Of course the first thought when I got home was changing my clothes and hopping in bed but NOPE, as always mom ambushes me with a "We're going out"..damn. I felt like crap, for real and i DEF didn't want to be outside in the rain, in a car with her talking her ass off for about 45 minutes, but ay. Got home about 2 hours later and just chilled. I made a vow not to get up or do anything for ANYBODY, too tired and it just wasn't my day to begin with, wasn't feeling it! But now i'm just ready to take it down and talk to hubby till..whenever i pass out..Random thought? I love him. Point blank.